The Better To See You With, My Dear

I have a friend. In order to protect their innocence, let's just call this friend "Sue."

Now, Sue is a social drinker who, on occasion, drinks to excess. One such occasion was a few years ago on New Year's Eve when, at a local pub, Sue approached a person at random and asked for a kiss. The person, sober and unamused, declined Sue's advances. Sue was relentless in her pursuit, which only made Sober And Unamused move more toward the direction of Offended And Appalled. Nearby, my friends and I huddled together, sipping champagne and giggling until we had no choice but to take Sue away from Sober And Unamused.

Why did we do this? I mean, Sue was in no danger and there was a chance (a very small chance) that Sue would get that kiss from Sober And Unamused. So, then, why'd we stop her? Well, firstly, we are good friends to Sue and, let's be honest, she wasn't doing herself any favors. Secondly, let's just say that Sober And Unamused wasn't exactly Sue's "type." To sum it up: You could say that Sue was "wearing"a pair of custom-made Beer Goggles.

Though, I suppose, in Sue's case, they were more like Vodka Goggles - but, similar principle nonetheless.

The term "beer goggles" refers to the perspective some people have after they've had a few too many - the kind of perspective, say, that would convince them that they are, in fact, extremely attracted to someone that, normally, wouldn't catch their eye at all.

Turns out, there's scientific evidence that suggests what Sue was experiencing was about symmetry - not just a loss of judgement. (Though, I'm sure that also has something to do with it; I speak from experience, and I'm sure I'm not alone.)

This article, published by the Smithsonian.com, cites a study performed by the journal Alcohol that suggests that the Beer Goggle Effect is essentially our brain's inability to decipher facial symmetry, which is typically - er, soberly - what we use to define a person's attractiveness.

But, why is facial symmetry so important? Well, because it's our inherent way of judging those who are in good health, and carriers of good genes.

So, next time you have a few, and think you've found Mr. or Mrs. Right (or Right Now), be careful: You might be looking at the world through beer-colored glasses.

Oh! And Ladies? The study says women are more susceptible to the Beer Goggle phenomenon, so make sure you get your DD's Go Ahead before pulling a Sue.

Cheers. Drink safely. 

Happy Valentine's Day

We've all been there, I'm sure. You know, that place where weak knees, sweaty palms, an irregular heartbeat, and a flip-floppy stomach are all the disturbing physical side effects of an arguably good thing: Love. (On a side note, some of us may wish our hearts weren't as flip-floppy as our stomachs... but that's a topic for another day entirely.)

Well, just in case you thought you had some control over falling in love, staying in love, or choosing the person you do either with... guess again.

Here is your Valentine's Day dose of science:

• This study published in TIME suggests that women are more likely to be attracted to the smell of a man who is genetically similar to their father. (Gross, I know - Freud is giving someone a high five as I type this.) Basically, I guess, at a very primal and subconcious level, females don't want to risk losing desirable genetic traits by mating with someone who is a complete shot in the dark, genetically speaking. Read more here. 

• It turns out that what drives us to fall in love, stay in love, and crave being in love after a break-up is dopamine. Hence that high feeling of being in love and, subsequently, the craving to fall back in love after a break-up - it's like withdrawal.

• And, finally, though I don't believe it entirely because my very affectionate grandmother was German, a new book called The Science of Kissing notes that though the Germans rarely kiss, they have 30 words for "kissing" in their language, one of which being nachkussen, meaning a kiss to make up for those that have yet to occur.